The mom guilt is real, y'all.
What do you do when there's only two options, and both of them have negative consequences? There is no winning no matter what you choose. Do you make a choice and move on? Or do you cry yourself to sleep trying to figure out what the magical third option that doesn't exist is, and wonder why you didn't do that instead?
We don't know what E will be when he grows up. We don't know if he will decide to go to college, or a trade school, or end his education after high school. We don't know if he'll get married or have children or be attracted to boys or girls or both. Because of that, I try not to have expectations for his future. I know so little about him, how can I choose a future for him? I'd much rather let him show me where he belongs as he grows up.
Just an FYI that I posted the December movie today. As a reminder, all previous videos can be seen here.
What do you do when the windchill is below zero, you've been inside for the past few days, and your kid is getting cabin fever? Why you head to the local furniture store of course!
I swear this blog could be an ad for Jordan's Furniture store with how frequently I talk about it here. However, our options are limited. We've already hit up Target and the local mall, and there really isn't many places where you can get food, entertainment, and is child friendly when it's this cold.
At some point you realize that life goes on. Even though you feel like yours has completely turned upside down, and nothing will ever be normal again... you adjust. You go from thinking about keeping this tiny human alive 100% of your day, to 98%, to 95%... And you find you have room to start to care about a few of the things you did before he made his arrival.
Nick Names: The Bubba, Bubba-bee
Height: 26+ inches (Estimated because no doctor's appointment)
Weight: 18 pounds
Head: 17+ inches
Special Outings: Wedding in Lake Placid, VT
Visitors: Linzy, Drew (wedding party represent!), Jill
Loves: Taking baths, bubbles, silly songs and noises, broccoli and avocado
Hates: Getting his face/nose cleaned, being tired, the end of meal time
I hope everyone is having a quiet and relaxing weekend, and enjoying whatever holiday you celebrate this time of year.
Tom and I and the Bubba are home, just the three of us, building our own holiday traditions. It's amazing to witness everything through this little one's eyes, and think about the years we have ahead of us. Mornings like this.
I know they're not trying to drive me crazy every time someone asks "Hey, has anyone ever told you that E looks JUST like Tom?" but after you get that same question at least once a day for the past 6 months, it gets old. It gets really old when you hear it multiple times in a day. Throw us in a crowded room and I'll probably hear it three times in under an hour!
This past weekend we went to a different kind of winter wonderland. Instead of celebrating first birthdays, we were celebrating a wedding!
It's been a while since I've been at a wedding where I wasn't in the bridal party (or the bride!) but this one was so much fun (and less stressful!). It was weird, because for the first time we had to worry about who was watching the tiny human we'd brought along with us, but luckily some planning ahead of time minimized that problem as well.
Nick Names: Bubba, Bubbabee, Ohhshh smoshhh
Height: 26.25 inches (27th percentile)
Weight: 17 pounds, 8 oz (47th percentile)
Head: 17 inches (41st percentile)
Special Outings: Daycare Halloween Parade, Daycare Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving in Cohasset
Visitors: No one!
Loves: People and faces. Trees. Being outside.
Hates: Hats and winter clothes, Being tired. Still.
Today's not a great day, for various reasons. The obnoxious thing is I'm no longer certain of my own feelings - am I really upset over something, or is it being amplified by my hormones? I used to hate it when people claimed their hormones were affecting their emotions because it seemed like BS to me. It didn't happen to me.
One of the hardest parts of being a working mom for me, is that after I put E to bed at night, I don't see him again until I pick him up at daycare the next day. When I leave to go to work he's still sleeping, and so I miss his mornings. That's especially sad, because he's so happy in the mornings, and it's seriously the best time of day to spend with him. It's nice because Tom gets that time, but selfishly I miss it. Especially because my time with him during the week is the cranky, waiting until bedtime time. Which is why my weekends are so sacred to me. I get mornings, I get happy baby, I get more time.
I've been meaning to write something like this for a while, but have been struggling to put my thoughts together. And struggling with if I even wanted to share. And then once I think about sharing, the sheer amount of stuff I want to talk about comes pouring out.
Being a parent is hard. And I struggle a lot with if I'm editing too much to make it look all sunshine and rainbows, and leaving out some of the harder parts. Because the last thing I want to do is make someone else feel bad because they think that I have it all together when in reality I don't.