Anxiety

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It's a Lot

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Life has seemed a bit harder than usual lately. And not the normal kind of hard. That kind of hard I’m used to – the push through even though you’re tired, get everyone where they need to be and just survive until life calms down type of hard. This is more emotionally hard, and it’s exhausting in a completely different way.

It’s the deep sigh that comes from once again realizing that it’s not that this country isn’t ready for equality, it’s that it doesn’t want it. It’s that familiar feeling of feeling a bit invisible, a bit stepped on, a bit like you’re screaming in a crowded room and no one can hear you. We’ve been here before, we live here. We’ll swallow the pain and move on.

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Inside My Mind

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Although most days I'm back to feeling like myself - calm, level headed, in control, uncaring about obnoxious people - there are still occasional days where I can't turn it off.  The anxiety that has popped up sporadically since giving birth makes a reappearance and there seems to be nothing to do but wait it out.  

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A Jumble of Thoughts

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I've been meaning to write something like this for a while, but have been struggling to put my thoughts together. And struggling with if I even wanted to share.  And then once I think about sharing, the sheer amount of stuff I want to talk about comes pouring out.  

Being a parent is hard.  And I struggle a lot with if I'm editing too much to make it look all sunshine and rainbows, and leaving out some of the harder parts.  Because the last thing I want to do is make someone else feel bad because they think that I have it all together when in reality I don't.  

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A New Normal

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I had to go into the city the other day.

It's weird, I've only been gone 3 weeks, but already everything is foreign. I got off at the same T stop I used to get off at every day for work. And already it felt as if I was getting off at a random stop in a different city. Nothing seemed familiar and I felt lost, even though I knew where I was going.