Hello toddler!
Although she doesn’t have many words, she’s soo close to talking non stop. Sometimes babble just pours out of her mouth like she has so much to say and she’s tripping on all the sounds. Other times you’ll say something and she’ll immediately repeat it exactly once. I’ve heard kitty, “right there” and “hi bus” this week alone, but it disappears as quickly as it comes.
As we do, we started the Christmas season off early this year. I used to have a strict, wait until after Thanksgiving rule, but it’s definitely been relaxed lately. We still don’t have any Christmas trees up, but there are wrapped presents in my house, decorations are ready to go up soon, and we’ve done a few holiday events already. Speaking of those, we’ve had some hits and misses.
One of the hits for me at least, was visiting Santa! The older two are always a bit confused about why we’re doing it, and claim they don’t want to go, but I swear they have a lot of fun once we’re there. E jumped right in on signing his name to the “nice list” book they had, and then did G’s name too while G was warming up to everything. But soon they were both chatting with Santa, posing for pictures, and of course telling their life stories.
Happy Thanksgiving!
We’re in the middle of a school/daycare break and staying at home for a slow Thanksgiving. We’re not going very traditional - there will be no turkey and more pies than side dishes probably, but we’ll be happy and that’s all that really matters.
We’re wishing everyone else all the favorite foods and relaxed days too, and we’ll see you on the other side with all the Christmas trees!
Oh hi, it’s me.
I’ve been silent because life is insane lately. Work is horrible and overwhelming and there’s so much going on I could be working around the clock. Luckily I know how to set a strong boundary, but that just means that my boss is cranky and I’m pissed and everyone is miserable. But yes, let’s take on some more projects.
So I tend to leave work not in the best mood, to go pick up a Kindergartener who feels similar, and then we throw on some kids home from a long day of daycare and everyone could use a little grace lately. And some 1:1 Mama time (which is nearly impossible to come by). We were rescued during Veteran’s day weekend when my parents and Aunt Linzy came to visit. Besides the kids being thrilled, it gave us just enough breathing room for me to relax a bit and Tom to cross some things off our lists and leave us feeling a little less like we were drowning. I’m hopeful Thanksgiving will do the same.
As tired and overwhelmed as I am, there’s one thing I am throwing all my energy into. Making magic for the kids. I have a bunch of unread emails I keep meaning to reply to, and projects half done or not started, but I already have two Christmas events booked and ready for us, and I think Halloween went pretty well too!
There’s a thing we have to do as parents, where we decide what events to go to and what events to skip. We had a lot of extra events we decided to pass on this year because they were too late at night or going to be too crowded or long, and we decided it was going to be overwhelming for the kids. They got plenty of magic, though. Pumpkin patches, corn mazes, trunk or treats, and plenty of candy. We wore our matching PJs and did crafts, but of course the main event was Halloween night!
Is this just life now? None stop crisis on top of crisis? Never enough time to be caught up? I swear it wasn’t this hard pre pandemic… but then again we had less children, pets, everything back then. I know it’s a season and I’m trying very hard to lean into this season and just enjoy it for what it is.
And if it was just craziness related to schedules and tantrums and general living with small people, I think it would be easier to understand. But it definitely feels like more lately. Covid is hitting more often and closer than before, which is stressful. It’s really hard to sit in a work meeting listening to your boss tell you that it’s no big deal when you’ve got a friend with a baby in the hospital. When you have two friends who have lost parents to Covid and your parents are home sick, hours away from you. When you have friends who are dealing with long Covid, and how it impacts their life every single day.
Okay we’re going to ignore how tired Tom and I are and how never ending life seems, and pretend life is all candy corn and pumpkin spice instead, just like my coffee.
We’ve been indulging the kids and doing all the fall activities lately. We’ve made mummy brownies and bat cookies. We’ve painted decorations, carved pumpkins and made monsters with popsicle sticks, cotton ball ghosts and Halloween sand art crafts.
We have a lot of dreams and ideas when it comes to our house. Some of them we’ve managed to accomplish, and some we’ve pushed off. Sometimes we change our mind after living with a space for a while. I’m a big fan of making your house work for your current life, and being willing to edit it as life changes. Houses aren’t meant to be perfect. Try that weird paint color, give yourself grace over the messy floors (and counters and bathrooms and and and), or turn your dining room into a guest room if that’s what you need right now.
When we first moved in, we brainstormed every possible thing we might like to do, change, add or accomplish while we live here. On that list, but way down the line, was to finish our attic. It was a large empty space that was open with possibilities, and we thought about doing something with it in ten years or so.
Just like every other family in the area with young kids looking for something to do on the weekends, we went apple picking! I actually dislike apple picking, and never know what to do with all the apples you end up with, but it is a great activity for children. It’s outside, running around, a very unique activity they don’t get exposed to every day. Oh and there’s donuts.
I also love any practice of tradition. I think it adds a great rhythm to the year, and really cements memories for the kids. They remember that we did it last year, since they know what to expect it’s easier for them to look forward to leading up to it. It’s also a great moment as a parent to notice how much they’ve grown and changed over the past year. (cue sobs!)
In my last post I alluded to a week that I thought was busy. Oh if I only knew what was to come.
My last post was about E’s first day of school, which was a Wednesday. That same day I was dealing with a lot of side effects of the Covid vaccine - I had a fever and complete body aches all day, which was mostly annoying and stopped me from accomplishing as much as I would have liked, especially since it was a day with all three kids out of the house (the first in a while!)
F seemed fine that morning, with no trace of a fever, so we sent her to daycare and she was good there all day. We had the impending move from the house the upcoming weekend, but we were figuring it out. Some spray foam insulation needed to go in on Friday, so I’d book us a hotel from Thursday to Sunday which would allow us to move in Friday morning as soon as the kids were all off to school. That was Tom and I would be able to work from the hotel all day, pick the kids up like normal, and spend two nights in the hotel before moving back home.
Despite being in denial for as long as I could, it finally happened. We officially have a school aged child that hopped right on the school bus with no hesitation and not even a look back. There were no tears, no extra hugs, no fear. It’s probably a good sign that we’ve done something right, so I’ll try to focus on that and not how rude it was that he didn’t even pretend he was sad to be leaving me.
But to back up, the preparation for this started a while ago. Getting a child ready for school is a lot - there is paperwork and school supplies and labels to put on EVERYTHING. A few weeks ago there was a teacher and classroom announcement where we found out that he didn’t actually have a teacher. It caused a bit of a panic and some worry for us, but luckily one was hired and I think we got a good one. (Is there such a thing as a bad kindergarten teacher?)
We’ve all heard the funny sayings about how vacations with kids aren’t vacations, they’re ‘trips’ or just parenting in a new location. I think it’s a great perspective to have, since it helps to set expectations. Tom and I have traveled to beaches where we sat in the sun all day and read book after book. That was relaxing. We’ve also toured cities where we walked tens of thousands of steps a day and saw every every sight we wanted to. We’ve been there, done that. And we know that this season of life isn’t either of those. (And we’re okay with it).
Our recent trips have been very kid focused and friendly. Visits to or with family, where we have extra adults and very easy schedules. We incorporate naps and play time and nothing too hard. Even when we go places around home, we do easy trips. We go to the library after nap time when everyone is happy, and we don’t stay too long. We’re not the parents who attempt big things. We keep it easy and safe for the most part.
Even though this is our third first birthday, it’s still just as much of an accomplishment each time. We did it. We survived the year! And I’m always just as shocked about how quickly it went by. How are you one already?
Your year feels split in half - the first half you were the easiest little squish baby who just came along wherever we went. The second half, aka the mobile half, is when things got a little crazy. You became strongly opinionated and LOUD. You aren’t talking but you still blow us lots of raspberries, give very wet kisses and screetch often. You’re constantly moving and climbing and exploring and trying hard to become a full on toddler. You love eating chicken nuggets and pasta and drinking from a sippy cup just like a big kid.
I feel like I need to do a kid update. Not the annual birthday one either. More a, this is where we are in life right now. Because I think to myself that not much has changed or happened, and then I read an old post and realize my children have gotten SO BIG and I don’t know when that happened.
They also change so much in the moment, that it’s hard to capture them. They can be outgoing and confident one minute, and shy and quiet the next. They may love their sibling one day, be super helpful and gentle, and the next day want nothing to do with them. So here’s the best summary I can come up with, totally off the top of my head and probably influenced by what they’ve done the past two days.
This baby has been determined to learn how to walk so she can keep up with her older siblings. It’s been pretty fun watching her figure it out, even if progress seemed slow at times. She went days between her first and second set of steps, but finally we’re at a point where she can confidently walk across a room. I’d say she still crawls at least 50% of the time, but when you put her down, she’s more likely to stay standing than not.
I’m not sure if this is good news or not, but on day 2 or 3 of no daycare for the smallest Spearson, she woke up with a fever and was pretty much miserable all day. So even if daycare had been open, she wouldn’t have been able to attend anyway! Our day was filled with lots of crying and less eating than usual, but she did take some great naps which helped us get through the day.
At one point I was attending a meeting (that some may describe as boring) and had F on my lap. I had been worried she was going to be loud and disruptive, but was pleasantly surprised that she was quiet and I was able to get through the meeting without incident. Towards the end, though, someone pointed out that it looked like it might be nap time, as F’s eyes kept closing. And this baby has not passed out in anyone’s arms in MONTHS. So while my coworkers may have claimed it was due to the boring meeting topic, I think her poor body was just sick and tired.
We did manage a bit of a trip recently, because I’m still set on giving my children the experiences they deserve, no matter how exhausted I am. So we took our first trip to Vermont since F was born. The older two love running around outside and spending time with their grandparents, and look forward to the trip every summer. Baby F had an amazing time too, and I’m pretty sure was ready to become a country kid.
I’m not sure I can fully express the burnout that we’re feeling. And I know it’s not just us - when I get together with other parents now, all we talk about is how hopeless we feel, how exhausted, how angry, how done we are. How we can’t possibly keep going another day, but we have no end in sight. We’re all struggling so much, but also dealing with a ton of guilt, because we feel like we can’t complain, because we chose to have these children. We even hoped and prayed for them.
I’m not sure any of us expected life to be like this though. A never ending pandemic where no one cares about keeping kids safe. Work that expects you to devote all your free time to working as if you don’t have kids, and barely pays you enough to combat inflation or pay for daycare. Daycare where we have to send our children so we can work, but they’re all so understaffed and burnt out themselves dealing with this pandemic, they have to keep shutting down.