Tired

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Parents of the Tiny Humans are Tired

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First there was a pandemic which closed schools and daycares, and forced parents to be fulltime caregivers while also working full time with no breaks. And if you happened to get sick, you still had to take care of those children while you maybe couldn’t get out of bed yourself.

Then the country reopened almost a year before there were vaccines for little kids to keep them safer.

Then because everyone was sick of precautions and had weakened immune systems from the pandemic, there is a tri-demic of Covid and Flu and RSV going around, all of which is particularly terrifying for small children.

Life These Days

Is this just life now? None stop crisis on top of crisis? Never enough time to be caught up? I swear it wasn’t this hard pre pandemic… but then again we had less children, pets, everything back then. I know it’s a season and I’m trying very hard to lean into this season and just enjoy it for what it is.

And if it was just craziness related to schedules and tantrums and general living with small people, I think it would be easier to understand. But it definitely feels like more lately. Covid is hitting more often and closer than before, which is stressful. It’s really hard to sit in a work meeting listening to your boss tell you that it’s no big deal when you’ve got a friend with a baby in the hospital. When you have two friends who have lost parents to Covid and your parents are home sick, hours away from you. When you have friends who are dealing with long Covid, and how it impacts their life every single day.

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Underwater

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I’m not sure I can fully express the burnout that we’re feeling. And I know it’s not just us - when I get together with other parents now, all we talk about is how hopeless we feel, how exhausted, how angry, how done we are. How we can’t possibly keep going another day, but we have no end in sight. We’re all struggling so much, but also dealing with a ton of guilt, because we feel like we can’t complain, because we chose to have these children. We even hoped and prayed for them.

I’m not sure any of us expected life to be like this though. A never ending pandemic where no one cares about keeping kids safe. Work that expects you to devote all your free time to working as if you don’t have kids, and barely pays you enough to combat inflation or pay for daycare. Daycare where we have to send our children so we can work, but they’re all so understaffed and burnt out themselves dealing with this pandemic, they have to keep shutting down.

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Barely Two

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My alarm has been going off at 5:30 recently, which is actually sleeping in for me. I get up, make breakfast for E and G, shower and get myself dressed, and then I’m on kid duty. It becomes a very loud and wiggly assembly line as each child needs to be changed and dressed and chased around the room. So many wiggly feet to capture with a sock.

I was halfway through dressing the smallest, and trying to corner the middle since he was next, when E caught me yawning one morning. “Mama are you tired?” he asked me.

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Ups and Downs

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Hello there!

What happened to last week? I remember celebrating Easter and birthdays and having a good time, and then it’s like I blacked out and here I am.

This is hard.

It’s also a gift, to have all this togetherness. To be here to witness new milestones and to be the one to comfort the tiny humans EVERY time they’re upset about something. To have all this extra time with my kitty who doesn’t have a whole lot of time left.

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The Slow Down

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I was hoping I’d have more time. After all, I’m only 7 months pregnant, and I was crossing my fingers I’d have at least another month. But apparently this is it. This is where I’ve run out of time, energy and motivation apparently.

There is still a lot to do. There’s a baby to prepare for, holidays are coming up and presents need to be wrapped, cards need to be sent, and then there’s the normal things, like remembering to do laundry (or more realistically, remembering to put it away after its been washed), and getting myself dressed and out the door every day.

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I Keep Meaning to...

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I'm not doing a great job with this pregnancy.  I keep forgetting to do the things I'm supposed to do.  Like tell people that I'm pregnant.  In 15 and a half weeks, I've told maybe 3 people?  And that doesn't include my family haha.  First I was waiting for an ultrasound picture (which I still don't have), and then I was waiting to see them in person, which keeps getting cancelled or pushed back... and then I just keep forgetting. 

I'll be in the middle of a conversation with someone and realize, oh I should totally tell them I'm pregnant!  And then it seems weird in the conversation, and we were talking about their problems and how weird and selfish would it be to suddenly say, HEY want to talk about ME?? I know you're dealing with some heavy stuff and all, but let's ignore that for now and discuss ME!!!