Tiny Humans

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Leaning into Fall

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Just like every other family in the area with young kids looking for something to do on the weekends, we went apple picking! I actually dislike apple picking, and never know what to do with all the apples you end up with, but it is a great activity for children. It’s outside, running around, a very unique activity they don’t get exposed to every day. Oh and there’s donuts.

I also love any practice of tradition. I think it adds a great rhythm to the year, and really cements memories for the kids. They remember that we did it last year, since they know what to expect it’s easier for them to look forward to leading up to it. It’s also a great moment as a parent to notice how much they’ve grown and changed over the past year. (cue sobs!)

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Just Pile it On

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In my last post I alluded to a week that I thought was busy. Oh if I only knew what was to come.

My last post was about E’s first day of school, which was a Wednesday. That same day I was dealing with a lot of side effects of the Covid vaccine - I had a fever and complete body aches all day, which was mostly annoying and stopped me from accomplishing as much as I would have liked, especially since it was a day with all three kids out of the house (the first in a while!)

F seemed fine that morning, with no trace of a fever, so we sent her to daycare and she was good there all day. We had the impending move from the house the upcoming weekend, but we were figuring it out. Some spray foam insulation needed to go in on Friday, so I’d book us a hotel from Thursday to Sunday which would allow us to move in Friday morning as soon as the kids were all off to school. That was Tom and I would be able to work from the hotel all day, pick the kids up like normal, and spend two nights in the hotel before moving back home.

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We Have a Kindergartener!

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Despite being in denial for as long as I could, it finally happened. We officially have a school aged child that hopped right on the school bus with no hesitation and not even a look back. There were no tears, no extra hugs, no fear. It’s probably a good sign that we’ve done something right, so I’ll try to focus on that and not how rude it was that he didn’t even pretend he was sad to be leaving me.

But to back up, the preparation for this started a while ago. Getting a child ready for school is a lot - there is paperwork and school supplies and labels to put on EVERYTHING. A few weeks ago there was a teacher and classroom announcement where we found out that he didn’t actually have a teacher. It caused a bit of a panic and some worry for us, but luckily one was hired and I think we got a good one. (Is there such a thing as a bad kindergarten teacher?)

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A Big Trip

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We’ve all heard the funny sayings about how vacations with kids aren’t vacations, they’re ‘trips’ or just parenting in a new location. I think it’s a great perspective to have, since it helps to set expectations. Tom and I have traveled to beaches where we sat in the sun all day and read book after book. That was relaxing. We’ve also toured cities where we walked tens of thousands of steps a day and saw every every sight we wanted to. We’ve been there, done that. And we know that this season of life isn’t either of those. (And we’re okay with it).

Our recent trips have been very kid focused and friendly. Visits to or with family, where we have extra adults and very easy schedules. We incorporate naps and play time and nothing too hard. Even when we go places around home, we do easy trips. We go to the library after nap time when everyone is happy, and we don’t stay too long. We’re not the parents who attempt big things. We keep it easy and safe for the most part.

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ONE YEAR

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Even though this is our third first birthday, it’s still just as much of an accomplishment each time. We did it. We survived the year! And I’m always just as shocked about how quickly it went by. How are you one already?

Your year feels split in half - the first half you were the easiest little squish baby who just came along wherever we went. The second half, aka the mobile half, is when things got a little crazy. You became strongly opinionated and LOUD. You aren’t talking but you still blow us lots of raspberries, give very wet kisses and screetch often. You’re constantly moving and climbing and exploring and trying hard to become a full on toddler. You love eating chicken nuggets and pasta and drinking from a sippy cup just like a big kid.

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Kiddo Updates

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I feel like I need to do a kid update. Not the annual birthday one either. More a, this is where we are in life right now. Because I think to myself that not much has changed or happened, and then I read an old post and realize my children have gotten SO BIG and I don’t know when that happened.

They also change so much in the moment, that it’s hard to capture them. They can be outgoing and confident one minute, and shy and quiet the next. They may love their sibling one day, be super helpful and gentle, and the next day want nothing to do with them. So here’s the best summary I can come up with, totally off the top of my head and probably influenced by what they’ve done the past two days.

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Walking

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This baby has been determined to learn how to walk so she can keep up with her older siblings. It’s been pretty fun watching her figure it out, even if progress seemed slow at times. She went days between her first and second set of steps, but finally we’re at a point where she can confidently walk across a room. I’d say she still crawls at least 50% of the time, but when you put her down, she’s more likely to stay standing than not.

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Cherry on the Top

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I’m not sure if this is good news or not, but on day 2 or 3 of no daycare for the smallest Spearson, she woke up with a fever and was pretty much miserable all day. So even if daycare had been open, she wouldn’t have been able to attend anyway! Our day was filled with lots of crying and less eating than usual, but she did take some great naps which helped us get through the day.

At one point I was attending a meeting (that some may describe as boring) and had F on my lap. I had been worried she was going to be loud and disruptive, but was pleasantly surprised that she was quiet and I was able to get through the meeting without incident. Towards the end, though, someone pointed out that it looked like it might be nap time, as F’s eyes kept closing. And this baby has not passed out in anyone’s arms in MONTHS. So while my coworkers may have claimed it was due to the boring meeting topic, I think her poor body was just sick and tired.

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Trip North

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We did manage a bit of a trip recently, because I’m still set on giving my children the experiences they deserve, no matter how exhausted I am. So we took our first trip to Vermont since F was born. The older two love running around outside and spending time with their grandparents, and look forward to the trip every summer. Baby F had an amazing time too, and I’m pretty sure was ready to become a country kid.

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Underwater

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I’m not sure I can fully express the burnout that we’re feeling. And I know it’s not just us - when I get together with other parents now, all we talk about is how hopeless we feel, how exhausted, how angry, how done we are. How we can’t possibly keep going another day, but we have no end in sight. We’re all struggling so much, but also dealing with a ton of guilt, because we feel like we can’t complain, because we chose to have these children. We even hoped and prayed for them.

I’m not sure any of us expected life to be like this though. A never ending pandemic where no one cares about keeping kids safe. Work that expects you to devote all your free time to working as if you don’t have kids, and barely pays you enough to combat inflation or pay for daycare. Daycare where we have to send our children so we can work, but they’re all so understaffed and burnt out themselves dealing with this pandemic, they have to keep shutting down.

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Eleven Months

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Of course because I mentioned how much I loved your gummy smile last month, you immediately popped out two bottom teeth - officially becoming the youngest child in this family to get a tooth! Maybe that’s what was messing with your sleep last month? It’s definitely gotten better - you still hate being put to bed, but then you fall asleep quickly and are back to sleeping through the night.

This month you have definitely decided what you want, and anytime you don’t get it you start immediately crying, fold in half, and put your forehead on the ground until someone comes to comfort you. Specifically you want to be held, but doing something interesting, or you want to be down on the ground playing, but with me or Tom less than 3 inches away.

Sour Patch Kids

As our children get older, it’s interesting to hear them talk more. It goes from learning words, to sentences, to actual random thoughts in their mind. And that’s where things get interesting. I start to hear about dreams they have about a mama dinosaur that their brother is afraid of but it’s really just “a nice dinosaur because it’s nice.”

I’ve also learned you really can’t take anything personal with kids. I was prepared for them to tell me they hated me, because I think that’s a normal part of growing up. That doesn’t phase me. Even saying that I’m the meanest mama ever and that I never let them do anything doesn’t phase me. (Sometimes they’re right!). It’s the specific ones that I think about days or weeks later. The ones that come out of no where.

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4th of July Weekend

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I had no desire to celebrate this embarrassment of a country, but we had a three day weekend and needed to do something with three littles. So we shut off the news, and had some quality family time in our little bubble. We went to a playground and had our first run in with an ice cream truck. It worked out since we were leaving to go get ice cream anyway, so we let the kids decide. Did they want to go get ice cream, or eat from the truck? The truck overwhelmingly won, and E picked out an orange creamsicle and G got a strawberry shortcake popsicle. They were incredibly happy, eating in the trunk of the minivan.

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Ten Months

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I’m not sure if it’s too much to say, but this might be your hardest month yet. You hit a sleep regression HARD, at the same time separation anxiety peaked. Suddenly you’re fighting sleep, you’re screaming, and one night you were up from 9pm until midnight. It wasn’t fun. We’ve mostly moved passed that, but you’re still not as “easy” as you were a month ago. You want to be walking, but you can’t yet. You want to explore but you also don’t want to be out of our arms. And you cry at daycare drop off now. So it’s been a rough month. We’ll get through it, of course.

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A Rainbow Sparkle Birthday

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I’ve already shared a birthday post for our recent five year old, but his party (parties?) need some documentation as well. This year he was insistent on a rainbow sparkle theme, surprising no one - so we went all in! I did better with the rainbows than I did with the sparkles, but I made sure to get a few of those in there too. His other requests included wanting to go to Jordan’s for his party, and having real candles on his cake that he would get to blow out. Who knew that I was depriving him by not giving a small child fire!

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Lake Winnipesaukee

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I was feeling nostalgic recently for the family vacations of my childhood, and wishing I could recreate some of that magic somehow. Nothing I was finding was giving me the feeling I was looking for - if I even knew exactly what I wanted. And then I realized, why not? Instead of finding a place similar to where we used to go, couldn’t I find the exact place we used to visit?

And so I did! I wasn’t exactly sure until we got there, but slowly the pieces started to piece together. Memories started lining up with what was in front of me, and sure enough I was finding myself spending the day in the same spots I was when I was nine or ten years old. It was so surreal and amazing. And then my parents joined us, and we found the same house we used to stay in. And talked about the weeks we used to spend there with my grandparents, and my uncle, and great aunt - all people who aren’t with us anymore, but who had been with us in this place. It was a small thing and it was everything.

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Nine Months

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Well after saying I wasn’t sure what makes you upset, this month definitely gave me a few examples. For whatever reason, your stranger danger seems to come and go. You’ve always loved daycare and never reacted poorly there, but suddenly you’ll burst into tears if a neighbor that you’ve known since you were born tries to hold you. While you often seem to be more like G in that you don’t want me to hug or cuddle you too much (you’ll go so far as to punch me in the throat to try to get out of a hug), you’ve also been a bit attached to me lately. You want me to sit approximately 2 inches from you on the ground next you to. Close enough that you can have a hand on me or crawl into my lap if needed, and if I try to leave the room or move away, you’ll start crying. That’s definitely new.

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FIVE

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HOW did we get here. I had babies and babies and suddenly I have a child old enough to go to school (which you will this fall).

You are sweet and caring and love to do things to make other’s happy. You send love notes to people in the mail, bring your siblings their favorite toys, share treats/snacks and you love to cuddle, especially after you’re supposed to be in bed.

You feel things deeply and take things personally. I often have to make sure I take extra time to talk about feelings with you. For example yet another pair of pants you were wearing ended up getting a hole in the knee, and I could see how sad you were. You were feeling ashamed, like you’d done something wrong. I had to sit you down and let you know that it wasn’t your fault, it was the pants. They weren’t strong enough, and we’d buy new ones. I didn’t want you to play any differently or worry about them. I can definitely see the rule following personality traits of an oldest child forming in you, and while it’s something that can be helpful to a parent or teacher, I want you to learn when to break the rules too.