Life Updates

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The Pandemic Post

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I’ve thought about writing this post a million times, but since we were IN it, it felt like maybe I should wait. Until it was over. Now I’m beginning to wonder if it ever will be over. And the before time, it’s so far away now, that it’s hard to remember.

So here is a very messy, probably very long, in between post about this pandemic we’re living through. Because some day our kids might ask. Because it’s probably not a bad idea to write down some memories. To reflect on the craziness. I’m going to break it up into sections - it probably won’t make it any shorter, but maybe easier for me to write.

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Small Updates

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Sometimes I feel like there’s nothing to update because every day seems the same, but at the same time everything changes so quickly that I have too much to share. Like E’s favorite song lately is Rihanna’s Umbrella (because what a cool thing to sing about!) and G’s favorite song is ABCDEFU (“She sings it wrong!”).

The baby baby is suddenly huge. I looked at her the other day and almost didn’t recognize her face. It doesn’t help that I think daycare has been brushing her hair so it doesn’t always stick straight up anymore, but suddenly she has these big cheeks too! She’s also huge, I just weighed her and she’s about 17 lbs which means she’s moved up a diaper size and a sleep sack size, but long gone is my tiny ity baby. It’s okay, because she’s almost entering a really fun phase, where she’ll be able to sit and play with us, and she’s starting to get really excited about food. I still don’t really have the energy to want to feed her table food even daily, but occasionally she’ll get to chew on something we’re eating and so far she loves it. And if not, she just chews on my shirt instead.

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Six Months

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By some weird turn of the calendar, you don’t really get a half birthday this year. It’s better than being born on a leap day, sure, but it did give me a bit of pause when deciding when to celebrate. The answer of course was whenever we wanted to.

This was a big month for you - you started daycare! You were getting extremely bored at home every day, and seem to be doing well at school. Except for the first day when you came home so exhausted you could barely make a noise or keep your eyes open, you’ve adjusted great. You don’t cry at drop off, and they say you’re happy during the day. E occasionally peeks in the window at you and finds you napping in a crib. It’s both weird and fun to be driving home from pick up with three children in the car. Sure it takes us a while to get everyone strapped in, but you’re a pretty good sport. I don’t want to jinx us, but you may be my baby who has hated the car the least. Not enough to sleep in the car, but I’ll take neutrality.

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V-Day

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Is there a limit to what I’m willing to do to make my children happy, assuming it’s something I’m able to do? I’m seriously asking, because I haven’t found it yet. Instead, I find myself decorating the entire house for Valentine’s day, when I’m pretty sure I used to hate Valentine’s day and would often wear black in protest. And then when a certain preschooler tells me that we need to decorate MORE, and this should include Elmo and Abby decorations, I find myself hand creating them out of construction paper.

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This Season

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Nothing about this pandemic makes sense to me anymore, but one of the more annoying things is that some daycares let parents into the buildings while others do not. I understand the logic, and I’m not someone who’s going to fight against people who are trying to keep my children safe, but I will admit that it would be so much easier if I was allowed inside the building.

Yes I’d like to be able to see what’s going on in my children’s classroom, and be able to check that they have enough extra clothes that still fit them and if the baby needs more diapers or not, but also because it would be easier to gather everything. It would be nice to be able to strap the baby into car seat and gather all the things that need to go back and forth every day from inside a building. And not in the cold or the rain.

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Five Months

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Well this month you have officially moved from a baby that is content to be along for the ride, to our ‘baby baby’ who wants to explore and do. No longer can we put you down on the floor with some toys and expect you to be content. You need to be entertained and experience and see new things. Which has been hard since we haven’t left the house this month. It makes me hopeful that your transition to daycare will be smooth, though. The other day E was explaining to you what daycare would be like. He was telling you what your room was going to look like, and made sure you knew that he’d be able to see you and check on you through the windows multiple times per day.

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Barely Two

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My alarm has been going off at 5:30 recently, which is actually sleeping in for me. I get up, make breakfast for E and G, shower and get myself dressed, and then I’m on kid duty. It becomes a very loud and wiggly assembly line as each child needs to be changed and dressed and chased around the room. So many wiggly feet to capture with a sock.

I was halfway through dressing the smallest, and trying to corner the middle since he was next, when E caught me yawning one morning. “Mama are you tired?” he asked me.

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The Crazy Sets In

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We’re creeping up on our two year anniversary of being home. Our two year anniversary of our two week home quarantine. There’s a whole lot of feelings that accompany that, but right now I’m more focused on the fact that I’m going crazy. Two years of not really leaving your house will do that, I’m sure. But here’s the clear evidence: we decided to potty train and sleep train at the same time. I’m not sure how or why this happened, but this is where we’ve found ourselves. We had grand plans to send the third child to daycare so we’d have some time at home to focus a bit more, but daycare messed up those plans. They claimed that one child was sick, so they sent home the whole family. Fine policy in theory I guess, but this is the second time they’ve done that, and we’ve yet to see an actual sick kid. Apparently one of the tiny ones have discovered an easy way to make the teacher believe they’re “sick” and get sent home. I really thought I had years before this level of treachery.

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Things I Don't Want to Forget

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Right now when G is trying to tell you something, he’ll often add on his version of “also” to continue the train of though. Except he pronounces it “aw-soh-lee” and it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. And I never want to forget him when he’s this little and pronouncing this word like this.

I don’t want to forget E calling to me from the back of the car randomly that “Mama, some day when I’m older I’m going to tell you I want to do gymnastics. I’ll let you know.” I clarified that he didn’t want to do them now, he didn’t talk to anyone at school about them that day either, so I’m not sure why it was on his mind, but not to worry - he’ll let me know when he’s ready.

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A Wrap on Christmas

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December and 2021 are officially over, and I think I’m still processing how I feel about that. I started the year convinced the pandemic would finally be behind us, especially since we’d all be able to get vaccines. I also started the year pregnant, which seems so far away considering the energetic baby we have now. But before I try to process the year some more, or look forward to the next one, here’s one final Christmas post summary, mostly for my memory.

Big or small, here are the things we did to celebrate Christmas this year:

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A Curious Birthday

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Usually it’s great having a child who likes everything. He’s almost always excited, and it’s very easy to make him happy. The downside, though, is it’s hard to figure out what he likes. Obviously the answer is everything, but when you’re trying to buy him a present, or pick a birthday theme, “everything” isn’t the most helpful answer. Add in the complication of trying to make sure it’s something that he likes, and not something he’s just copying from his brother, and we were coming up pretty empty.

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Christmas 2021

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Christmas morning started with a bang - well a few of them actually. I was so busy I hadn’t looked out the window to notice all the ice that had accumulated overnight. We live on a pretty steep hill, so when my attention was finally pulled outside, there were two cars off in front of our house and a few more at the bottom of the hill.

Our neighbors were already out trying to help, but they couldn’t even stay on their feet on the road. I sent Tom out with some salt to see if it would help. For the next hour, the kids and I got to watch everything from people skating down the hill to the backhoe pulling cars out of the ditch - really if you’re going to get in an accident, this isn’t the worst place to do it! On that vein, it also helps that our neighbor’s son works for the next town over and was out salting the roads. Since our town wasn’t doing much, my neighbor got her son to do a quick detour and get our street salted.

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Four Months

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More than once this month I’ve said that I think we’ve found our loudest child. You have found your voice and you love to sing and make everyone know that you have opinions. You are making sure that you will not be a forgotten third child. I’m not sure how you could be, you’re everyone’s favorite. Even the cats like to come check on you multiple times a day. Your siblings are still your favorite - after a particularly fussy day, the first time you seemed truly happy was at the end of the day when I set you up watching G.

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Three Years

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The other morning I woke you up and told that you while you were two years old that morning, you’d soon be three! And you said “No! I’m your baby always!” and then you had me scoop you up and rock you in my arms. It was just what my soul needed as I mourn all of my children growing way too fast. But then again, you always seem to know what other people need lately. I’ve dubbed you a caregiver more than once lately. You often tell me that if I’m scared it’s okay, because you’re here for me. And we all call you our Italian grandmother, since you love feeding people. It brings you so much joy, and you won’t take no for an answer. No one can come into our house without getting some of your meal fed to them. You also will seek out my water from across the house and bring it to me to make sure I’m drinking enough water.

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Life Now

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So how is life going these days, anyway?

It honestly changes minute by minute. So quickly I feel like I constantly have whiplash and don’t have time to breathe. I know we’re in survival mode and it won’t always be like this. We’ll get to a point where I’ll have time to respond to emails again, make those doctors appointments I’ve had on my list forever, and not feel constantly tired. And then I’ll look back and wonder where these days went.

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Three Months

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What a determined little baby you are. You’re not content with being a newborn anymore. You’re learning to roll and are working hard at sitting up too, when all we want is to enjoy you as a baby for as long as possible. You see your older siblings doing things, and you just want to be where they are. You love them so much, if you hear them you’ll crane your neck and move your body to try and see them. Of course they love you just as much, some nights you get a hug when Mama and Dad don’t.

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Expectations

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As a parent, it’s easy to get an idea in your head about how things might go, or how you’d like them to go. I see it a lot this time of year when everyone is booking family photos and thinking of upcoming holiday cards. For example I might think that if I buy matching pjs and book photos with a Santa early in November, we could have a cute photo for our card. I might even think I’m being flexible when I consider the possibility that the baby would be crying, because that might make a funny card.

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Trick or Treat

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This year everything about Halloween seemed up in the air. The pandemic is still raging on, the weather looked questionable at best, and our normal Halloween plans were no longer an option. All that added up to a big question mark about how we were going to spend the holiday. Nothing new there, I guess. Every holiday for the past almost two years now has been a mix of disappointment and change, so I shouldn’t be surprised.

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Two Months

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About halfway through the month, I looked at you and realized you were no longer a newborn. It was shocking and sad. I wasn’t sure how the change had happened so quickly, and was immediately mourning the fact that you’d left the sleepy and squishy phase. It is, of course, an accomplishment for you. You’re growing! You’re one step closer to showing us who you are as an independent person. And pretty quickly I learned to love this new phase too. You love eye contact, and when I coo at you, I can make you smile.

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Passing Time

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E and I have been discussing time lately. Specifically how it can sometimes go quickly, while other times it seems to take forever. It started during nap time. E is getting to an age where he hasn’t given up naps yet, but he doesn’t take one every day either. We tell him that he can nap if he wants to, and if not he can have quiet time in his room. He usually does a combination of resting in his bed, maybe with a book, or playing with his dollhouse.