Tiny Humans

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Picture Fun

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One of the best pieces of advice I’ve gotten about parenting so far, is not to compare them. They’re going to be different. This close in age, they’re going to be as different as they can be in most ways. That’s just the way it works.

And so far, that’s pretty accurate. It seems like we have on introvert, who pulls into himself when he’s in stressful or new situations. He requires a lot of down time, and is a pretty strict rule follower. We also have one that seems like an extrovert who expresses himself outwardly, thrives on loud and busy situations and wants to be around people. Oh, and he thinks mischief is the best.

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Lately

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There are some things that haven’t changed too much due to our home quarantine. We still get up at the same time, play with the kids all day, and in between manage to clean the house and mow the lawn. Some things might be harder, so we just don’t do them, or are putting them off. Dentist appointments, mattress shopping, haircuts. But then there are other things. Things that are much harder now, but cannot be put off. Things like blood draws for the kids. We have actually put it off as long as we could, but it was finally time to get it done.

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Flying Creatures

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Something I didn’t quite understand about young children before I had them – it takes them a while to learn how to speak. And it’s not just vocabulary building, it’s pronunciation, but I’m not talking about the cute way they say spaghetti. There’s this whole period of time where they’re screaming the same word over and over at you while you play some desperate charades game of trying to figure out what they’re telling you.

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Missing Friends

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Sometimes this staying home thing is easy. There’s no commute, there’s no annoying people, and I have pretty much everything I need here. I can rent movies on my TV, ship almost anything to my door, and I have a lot of crazy boys to keep things entertaining and interesting here.

Some days are really hard, though. Like when my three year old says “Mama, will you come here and play with me? I need a friend. I have no friends.” Or when he tries repeatedly to get his brother to play with him, which sometimes works, and sometimes ends with two very frustrated toddlers.

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A Cookie Monster Party That Wasn't

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It was never going to be a big party, of course. I don’t think 3 is a year that people tend to throw huge parties like you do for a 1 year old, but we probably would have had some friends over. There also would have been a party at daycare (and of course more cake) and so none of that happened.

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THREE

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Three feels big. Heavy and important and monumental. Two still felt like a baby, still felt close to birth, with everything felt fresh and new. Three feels so big and so old. It’s hard to explain the feeling, but when I had babies I didn’t feel like a mother so much. I felt like a caregiver of tiny humans, someone who was given a gift of these squishly little creatures to take care of. Now I feel like I have a child. A child that I have to raise, mother, and teach.

Three is old enough to ask questions and remember things that I’ve told him. Three is big enough that I need to think about what I say before I saw it, unless I want it repeated forever and to everyone.

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Our Weekend

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I have a bunch of posts in draft right now, but I’m having a hard time expressing how I’m feeling at this point in quarantine. My head is in a fog, my feelings change by the day or by the hour, and so expressing it coherently is a struggle.

So I won’t.

Not today.

Instead I’ll tell you about our weekend. We didn’t really do anything, of course. We never do, but it was okay just the same. We went outside and got dirty and did some cooking in the kitchen, although not as much as we have been doing lately. I think the only thing E helped with was pancakes. He’s getting excited about his birthday, and cannot wait to have cake. Which means I need to get his cake from a hypothetical vision in my head to something with a bit more of a plan to it.

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Tiny Toddler Update

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Our littlest toddler is the best.

You couldn’t ask for a better quarantine buddy. Well you could, because he’s also an angry little tyrant who demands food constantly and runs away when you try and change his diaper, but he’s the best mood booster. Recently I taught him how to give hugs, and it’s the best thing ever. I don’t know why it’s taken me this long. But now I’ll tell him to give me a hug and he’ll grab one of my shoulders in each hand and squeeze them as hard as he can while grunting. Seriously, who couldn’t use a hug like that?

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Happy Mother's Day to ME!

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While I was sitting at my desk on Friday, a reminder popped up on my phone: “Muffins for moms.” It’s usually the kick off to Mother’s Day weekend, a little treat to look forward to. Cancelled this year, obviously. Of all the things cancelled, it’s the least of them. I can easily get a muffin or something even more yummy, but it was just another little sting. Another little reminder that things are different.

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Blame it on the Rain

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It feels funny to complain about quarantine sometimes. Because most days we’re fine. Thriving even. Last weekend was amazing, and I felt really close as a family. We went for family drives to point out the empty parking lots, and we played in the yard. We even crossed a bunch of things off our home to do list, which made us feel like real functioning adults. Got the septic pumped! Gutters are clean! Even bought a shed for the backyard! (Something I’ll post about on it’s own once it’s actually here and functioning).

It really was a good weekend. They feel longer, now, than they used to. I think that’s a function of having no where to go, no plans, nothing to do to “kill time,” so it’s just two full days of togetherness. And that’s not a bad thing.

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Just a Bunch of Monkeys

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Now that I have two little children, I feel like I’m finally understanding all of my friends that grew up with siblings close in age, and who are used to fighting about things being equal. My boss tells stories of his siblings and him fighting all out wars to reach the kitchen every night before bed, in order to have first pick at their evening drink of juice (even though his mom had painstakingly poured them all equally). Or I understand why my two older sisters had so many duplicate toys – buy one for one of them, and you better buy one for the other.

I haven’t exactly reached the stage where I believe everything needs to be equal, but I’ve at least witnessed the jealousy, and I understand it now.

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Entering Week 7

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So. Quarantine.

We’ve been here for a while. 43 days to be exact, and we’re not going anywhere soon. We know we have at least two more months of this, but ask the Actuary how confident she is that this will be over then. Part of my actual job is to study pandemics. We’ve been doing this since before it was cool. Ask me about what happened in the fall of the 1918 flu.

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Ups and Downs

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Hello there!

What happened to last week? I remember celebrating Easter and birthdays and having a good time, and then it’s like I blacked out and here I am.

This is hard.

It’s also a gift, to have all this togetherness. To be here to witness new milestones and to be the one to comfort the tiny humans EVERY time they’re upset about something. To have all this extra time with my kitty who doesn’t have a whole lot of time left.

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Happy Easter!

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I think, for the first time since all this home quarantine stuff started, we had a day that felt normal.

So far, Easter has been a holiday that we celebrate at home. We do egg hunts in our living room, and we spend the day here together. So we were able to do everything pretty much the same this year. It was definitely a relief to have a day where nothing felt cancelled or different. Both G and E were excited to find eggs and made the day a lot of fun.

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Happy Birthday Tom!!

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Happy Birthday Tom!!

Birthdays definitely look a little different during quarantine, but we’re doing the best we can. We went for a family walk to get outside, I made us some confetti brownies to celebrate, and we even have a party to go to later. Sure, it would have been more fun to go in person, but we’re still excited.

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Day 26 Brain Fog

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My brain is in a fog most of the days. I sit down and try to concentrate on work, or a book, and it’s like I’ve forgotten how to think. For a while I thought I was handling this quarantine pretty well, but it’s officially getting to me. It’s April 8th, and the last time I was in the physical office was March 9th. Which if you’re counting, is more than 26 days. My official count is days since daycare closed, but we had our own week of quarantine due to sickness at the beginning of all of this. It’s both impressive and scary how long I’ve been trapped in this house.

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Blah Blah Blah Day 21

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I have had the worst stomach ache of anxiety all week. Tied up in knots, can’t relax, in constant panic mode. There’s no reason for it, well besides the global crisis we’re all facing, but that’s not new. Nothing’s changed this week, I’ve actually mostly stopped watching/reading the news even. My body has just decided that we’re stressed out this week and should panic.

So with that being my mindset, despite the fact I feel like I should be much more comfortable right now, I’m going to give a very cute, baby-centric update. Because that’s more fun to talk about.

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I Didn't Hate It

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I actually had, what felt like.. a normal weekend? Or at least a good and possibly bordering on fun weekend!

It feels weird to say. It almost feels wrong to say, since so many people are hurting right now. But there aren’t many wins lately, so I’ll take it. Tom got a half day on Friday, so we were able to get outside and enjoy the beautiful weather. Our kids aren’t great at taking walks, but we’re working on it. We park at a local (closed) playground, and walk down the street, since that part of town has sidewalks. We go very slowly, we don’t get very far, and both kids require A LOT of snacks, but it’s nice to get outside.

So much, we did it again Saturday.

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A Letter from Mama

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Dear G and E,

I wonder when you grow up, if you’ll remember this time. Is this one of those things that is so life changing that it will forever be one of your earliest memories? Or will you only repeat stories you’ve been told over and over. Although you’re young, you’re aware that things are different now, even if you don’t understand why.

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We Have a WALKER!

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Well, another walker I guess.

But baby G is finally walking! Or he did it twice, and hopefully he’ll decide it’s something he likes, and will continue to do it. I’m so sick of having my phone out all day, every day, waiting for the moment. Because it felt like it was going to happen all month. He’s been standing and almost taking steps, but deciding he didn’t really want to. He’d rather crawl, or “walk” on his knees.