Reading

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THREE

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Three feels big. Heavy and important and monumental. Two still felt like a baby, still felt close to birth, with everything felt fresh and new. Three feels so big and so old. It’s hard to explain the feeling, but when I had babies I didn’t feel like a mother so much. I felt like a caregiver of tiny humans, someone who was given a gift of these squishly little creatures to take care of. Now I feel like I have a child. A child that I have to raise, mother, and teach.

Three is old enough to ask questions and remember things that I’ve told him. Three is big enough that I need to think about what I say before I saw it, unless I want it repeated forever and to everyone.

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Days 2-5

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I woke up yesterday and seriously thought it was Wednesday, when in fact it was Thursday. I thought about putting up a sign that says something like “Today is [Friday] and today we [work/don’t work].” But then I realized I’d probably forget to update it, and confuse myself even further. Everything is so disorienting, I really need to spend a few minutes each morning trying to remember what I’m supposed to be doing, and when.

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Chaos

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I've been going through a hard time at work lately.  The powers that be have decided to change, well, pretty much everything about the way we work.  People have gotten new jobs, teams have been split up and regrouped in different configurations, and the physical space has been transformed.  Which means I've been working in a construction zone with people who aren't sure what their job description is anymore, or where they even sit.  It's a bit.. chaotic.