At some point do I just stop counting? Is life so changed that it will never return to the “before" so there’s no point in counting how many days it’s been?
Or is it pointless because some things might get back to something that looks a little bit like normal, while others never will? Our daycare is actually open right now, so does that negate my count, since I started counting days since daycare closed? Or does the fact that we haven’t sent them back to daycare yet mean I keep counting?
We’re thinking about it, by the way. I never thought I would without a vaccine. But something I hadn’t counted on was that I’m having to choose between mental and physical health for my children. While it is safest to keep them at home, they are both struggling without the social interactions they’re used to. G is determined to keep learning - anything! He’ll bring us a book and point at the pictures while we name things for him. Over and over until he can remember the words. Lately he’s really motivated to learn his colors - he asks us what color EVERYTHING is, and will try to guess the colors of whatever he sees. It’s amazing to watch him get better. He went from guessing orange and yellow for pretty much everything, to actually being able to recognize some colors in a week or so. None of this is anything we’ve initiated - he wants to learn. He wants to be back at daycare interacting with people too.
And poor E will often cry about not having any friends, or tell us that he really needs a friend and he’s lonely. He’ll always ask G to be his friend and to join him with whatever activity he’s doing, which sometimes works, but sometimes G’s just too little. So often he’ll ask either me or Tom if we’ll be his friends and play with him. He wants to go back to daycare too.
So we’re considering it. Right now is probably the safest it will be for a while, since we’re just counting the days until another wave of cases hits us. It’s a very weird feeling. Knowing that the danger is coming, but trying to live like it isn’t, since it’s not here yet. Then again, I have a friend getting a COVID test today… so maybe the danger hasn’t gone anywhere.
I’m convinced that Tom and I will be working from home for at least another 9 months, maybe longer. There was a minute when one of our offices tried to change plans and call people back, but the reality of the situation is that I don’t think they can force people in the office. Not when they’d be potentially risking their lives. Boston has also been really good at regulations to try and keep things as spread out as possible, so there’s no way either of our buildings would be allowed to operate under full capacity in the near future.
So we’ll be home. That’s definitely the safest for us, and neither of us miss much about commuting into the city. The introvert in me is okay with seeing my co-workers over our many video calls, so the only thing I’m really missing (besides time to myself!) is eating in Chinatown. That I definitely miss. But otherwise? I would easily work from home forever. That’s the easy part of quarantine.
The one thing the count does, is remind me that time is passing. It’s so easy to feel like we’ve only been home for a week or two, and then you look around and realize it’s actually been forever. Especially since I can say things like, I’ve only filled my car’s gas tank up once since February.
When we started quarantining at home, G still wasn’t walking. That’s mind blowing to me, since he’s running around like crazy. He’s teaching himself how to walk down stairs right now. Not on his butt, or backwards crawling, but actually walking down like a normal person, holding on to the rail. In case you’re wondering how long we’ve been home.
When we started home quarantine, there was still snow on the ground, and the kid’s were wearing snowpants and boots to go outside. Now they run around in shorts pouring buckets of water over their heads.
It’s harder to see differences in E, but they’re there too. He turned 3 while in quarantine and is acting older than ever. He wears underwear more than diapers now, he can get himself dressed and undressed by himself, and is now starting to read us books that he’s memorized. None of that was happening pre quarantine.
So in some ways, life has gone on. There’s still a lot to celebrate and be happy about, but there are also other milestones that we aren’t so happy about. How long it’s been since we’ve seen family members or friends. We’ve had two vacations cancelled, missed Red Sox games, and countless missed opportunities. It’s definitely going to be one of the weirdest years of our lives.
I’m actually crossing my fingers it’s only a year. That’s what I’ve mentally prepared myself for. Anything longer will hurt, but I guess if this has taught us anything, it’s that we can adapt.
