Some days are still really hard. That’s not new. But occasionally.. some days are less hard? We find ourselves getting brave and leaving the house more and more. This past weekend we went on 3 separate outings as a family of 5. Most were less than an hour, but even a month ago we weren’t even averaging one.
Pickups have been hard for me since F started walking. There were days when all three of them would be running in circles in the gym and there was nothing I could do. I love that this daycare has a gym, but it definitely makes my day harder, since you have to walk through the gym to exit the building. I can’t catch all of them at the same time. I can catch one, and then the minute I try and catch a second, the first one is gone again. They know they outnumber me and they just laugh. I really can’t do much but wait it out.
Those days I come home feeling defeated and embarrassed.
But I feel like I need to call out the good days too. Recently E has been doing a great job trying to ignore the chaos and just walk besides me. Even on days when he has a rough day at school and he’s tired and hungry and melting down during the car ride over, he’s been managing to pull it together long enough to help me at pick up.
G tends to follow his brother, so that helps. There was a day recently where he was running in circles and I was worried the pickup was about to become bad. I caught him, and brought him towards the toddler room, where he immediately kicked over a bucket of rags by the door. I could feel myself loosing it, but it’s a good reminder not to yell when there’s a ton of teachers and other parents watching you (I’ll never understand why none of them ever offer to help me catch a child…??) I was lucky that the toddler teachers weren’t quite ready for me, so I had a few minutes before things escalated further with a three against one. I got down on his level and told him that I missed him and loved him and was so happy to see him. I asked him if he’d help me by carrying his backpack and walk nicely out the building. I watched him calm down a bit, and he agreed.
By the time we’d gathered F, she decided she wanted to wear her backpack too just like her brother. Although I’d joked with a neighbor about buying her a leash to wear, I hadn’t actually bought one. But I realized a backpack is very similar. Since she can’t carry the weight herself, I have no choice but to hold it up by the handle - which effectively lets me keep her attached to me.
And then just like that, everyone calmly walked to the car.
To top it off, they suggested we play the quiet game on the ride home AND IT WORKED.
I must have looked shocked when we pulled up to the house. Normally Tom’s ready for me to walk in either in tears or red with anger. It felt nice to walk in proud and happy instead.
Now it doesn’t always go according to plan. I’ve learned that while the trick to get F to walk calmly and directly to the car is to let her wear her backpack, I’ve also learned that she likes to immediately drop it at the car and sprint down the side walk. But I’m mostly ready for that one now.
It feels nice to come out of hibernation a bit. It feels nice to think there is an end maybe in sight…
Of course my confidence did dip a bit when one child had a burst of anger at dinner and shouted “No! No! You’re the stupidest Mama ever. You’re SO STUPID.” But then the other child leaned in and said “Can I whisper a secret in your ear? You’re not really stupid.” Do we call that a wash?
