I never expect to bring home a baby just because I’m pregnant. I know too much, have seen too much that it’s not always the case. I always hope for a successful outcome, but I know it’s not guaranteed. Which is maybe why I’m always left is such shock when a baby is placed on my chest. It’s the best possible surprise and shock, and even two weeks later I’m still just amazed that she’s here. I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to have another beautiful baby.
I’m not sure if it’s the fact that my hormones are less messed up (since there was no massive blood loss this time) or if it’s the peace of knowing this is my last baby and I can focus on enjoying everything instead of stressing over it, but I am definitely in a happy baby zone. I might be tired, but I have this head to smell and it’s intoxicating.
There might be crying or three tiny humans who need me all at once, but all I can see is this beautiful family that Tom and I have built. This crazy, amazing and incredible family. I know it won’t always be this easy or peaceful, so I’m just enjoying every day I get to just cuddle this baby and study her face.
The entire pregnancy I used to wonder how baby F would come out - looking like E? Or more like G? Turns out she’s a good mix of both. Sometimes almost comically. When it comes to hair, E was born with tiny amounts of fuzzy short hair, while G had long hair everywhere. Baby F has long hair… on half her head. The other half has the same little fuzz that E had. There’s almost a line down her head dividing the hair from the non hair.
Her face looks a lot like E when he was a baby. So much I sometimes feel like I gave birth to the same baby twice. She eats so slowly like he did, and has a little gator chomp when trying to find her pacifier. But then I peek a slight little dimple in the same spot as G’s, although it’s not as prominent. She also eats quantity wise as much as G did. G was a hungry baby, and so is baby F.
I’m sure we’ll find lots more similarities and a lot of things that are unique to baby F. We’re having a lot of fun just watching her and getting to know her. Her older siblings love her so much - they’re always giving hugs and kisses and asking to hold her. They love picking out her clothes and bringing us diapers and wipes or bottles.
I know this is the easy part - the part where baby F has no opinions and just comes along with us. Some day the three of them will fight and claim to hate each other, but for now? I’m loving everything.
