Update on the Middlest Child
G is my hardest child to get a read on. You have to be patient. If you go at him too strong, ask too many questions or try too hard, and he’ll shut down and literally run away. He’s private and doesn’t want to share too much of himself, even to his family.
It’s also hard to figure out what he likes, because one of his strongest personality traits is that he wants exactly what everyone else has. Ask him his favorite color and he’ll give you the favorite color of the nearest kid to him. What does he want for Christmas? Whatever everyone else is getting. He has such a strong sense of equality and fairness. It doesn’t matter if a sibling has an m&m and he has a whole bag of marshmallows - if he doesn’t also have an m&m, he’ll be upset.
He hates feeling like he’s missing out on school and desperately wants to go to kindergarten NOW, but is also terrified to go and will break down in tears if we talk about it too much. He’s trying so hard to grow up and be big, but sometimes we need to remember he’s only 4 and it’s okay to be little.
Speaking of 4 year olds, that seems to be peek time to be afraid of thunderstorms around here. He used to sleep right through them or not mind them too much, but now that another child has grown out of their fear, this one has grown into it. It meant a recent evening of late night cuddles while a storm raged on and he couldn’t sleep. He also occasionally gets night terrors still, but luckily no sleep walking yet.
When he gets upset about something, he often holds it inside. He doesn’t like to cry unless he’s around us, so if something upsets him at school he’ll hold it in all day until we’re in the car. Sometimes he’ll cry about something that upset him a week ago. You never know when it’s going to suddenly burst out of him, and there’s no stopping it until it’s done. We’ve tried to tell him that it’s okay to cry in the moment, but he’s told us he doesn’t like to cry around other people, and so he doesn’t.
Angry and loud voices make him upset, even if they’re not aimed at him or are across a room. Loud noises in general are rough for him - fireworks, loud trucks, the vacuum. Which is a little ironic since I recently purchased ear plugs to wear around the house, since he’s the loudest child and my ears have been hurting lately.
G holds so many big emotions in his small body. There are days where anger seems to overtake his body, and while we can overcome it, some days it consumes his whole day. He’s such a sweet and tender kid, so seeing him so angry is hard, but we work through it as best we can. He also enjoys (and needs!) down time. Quiet time alone, by himself. He is the kid who does the worst on low sleep or an alternate schedule. When he’s hurt or upset, he doesn’t like being cuddled, hugged, or comforted. He might hide in his room, lie on the ground, or just run around in circles trying to figure out what he wants.
When he’s happy, he’s the sweetest and silliest kid around. He loves to laugh, and he loves to make others laugh. He relies heavily on physical humor and as a result always has bruises all over his legs. His bond with F is strong, since he’ll often be the one rolling around on the floor with her, or tickling her on demand. He also loves to be tickled, and his laughter fills this house.
He’s gotten really into coloring lately, and loves to do parallel drawing, where he’ll draw something and you have to copy whatever he’s doing on his page. He still loves good food, and gets cabin fever often so sometimes Tom or I will load him up in the car and take him to the drugstore or gas station, just for some fresh air.
As a middle child, he loves individual attention and and often will seek out any nearby adult to get that attention. Sometimes I worry about giving him a complex because he’s a middle child, but then I remember one of my favorite people ever, my uncle, was a middle child - and I think maybe he’ll be okay.