I Didn't Hate It
I actually had, what felt like.. a normal weekend? Or at least a good and possibly bordering on fun weekend!
It feels weird to say. It almost feels wrong to say, since so many people are hurting right now. But there aren’t many wins lately, so I’ll take it. Tom got a half day on Friday, so we were able to get outside and enjoy the beautiful weather. Our kids aren’t great at taking walks, but we’re working on it. We park at a local (closed) playground, and walk down the street, since that part of town has sidewalks. We go very slowly, we don’t get very far, and both kids require A LOT of snacks, but it’s nice to get outside.
So much, we did it again Saturday.
Saturday we also gave G his first bike. He can’t ride it yet, but he’s seen his brother do it enough that his face lit up when we put him on it, and he moved the handlebars and bounced up and down. He knows it’s his, and you can tell he’s excited to ride it… someday. It took E almost a full year to really start to use his bike daily, and I’m sure G will be on his before that. I still thought it was important to give it now, though. One, I’d promised him a bike when he started walking, so he did earn it. Also right now E is fully obsessed with G’s bike. Even though he has his own, and even though this bike is too small for him, he’s throwing tantrums over it. So we’ve told him that it’s G’s bike, but he can borrow it for now. I’m hoping he’ll get sick of it by the time G is ready to ride it. Or they’ll just fight each other, and you know that G will win haha.
Other than that, there weren’t many big adventures, or things that happened over the weekend. But it felt okay. We let the kids video chat with their friends, and I even saw my best friend in person (from a distance) since I needed to drop something off at her house (that immediately went into quarantine for her to open at a later time). Her husband opened the door at one point to show me their baby, and I’ll admit it made my cry on the way home to be that close to her and not be able to squish her. Life is so weird and different now, adjusting is hard.
But in general, the work days have seemed easier than the weekends. On the week days I know what my purpose is. Work, kids, work, kids. All day long. I’m busy and my mind is occupied, and the days pass pretty quickly. The weekends are odd. We don’t really need the slow pace we used to enjoy, because everything is at home relaxed, now. Instead we’re begging for an activity or at least some sort of routine. I felt like we accomplished that better this weekend than the one before.
I could almost see myself getting used to this stay at home thing, though. It’s amazing how quickly you adapt, isn’t it? At this point, I think my fear is that this quarantine will be lifted too quickly. Worries about the economy might be our downfall, because if we all rush back out to life as “normal,” I know this is only going to blow up bigger. I worry about what I’ll do if my office tries to bring us all back before I feel safe. Will I be able to keep us all at home?
This has really become our sanctuary. Sure I’m sad at all that we’re missing, but we’re SAFE. And as a Mama, that’s my number one worry. Worried about the kids riding in cars all the time? No problem, they’re stuck at home now! Worried about how they’ll fit in at daycare? If they’ll miss you while you’re gone? No problem, they’re home with you every day!
One of the unfortunate things of this quarantine, though, is that Tom and I almost never see each other. We always hand off kids and work. So on the rare times that we’re both not working, it’s created a reaction from E. I’ll be playing with him, and Tom will come join us and E will start crying and telling Tom to leave, because he thinks that means that his time with Mama is being cut short. It’s a reaction that makes sense, since most times, that’s what happens. Tom shows up, and I disappear to work for a bit.
Everything about this is weird