I Keep Meaning to...
15 Weeks
I'm not doing a great job with this pregnancy. I keep forgetting to do the things I'm supposed to do. Like tell people that I'm pregnant. In 15 and a half weeks, I've told maybe 3 people? And that doesn't include my family haha. First I was waiting for an ultrasound picture (which I still don't have), and then I was waiting to see them in person, which keeps getting cancelled or pushed back... and then I just keep forgetting.
I'll be in the middle of a conversation with someone and realize, oh I should totally tell them I'm pregnant! And then it seems weird in the conversation, and we were talking about their problems and how weird and selfish would it be to suddenly say, HEY want to talk about ME?? I know you're dealing with some heavy stuff and all, but let's ignore that for now and discuss ME!!!
Yeah didn't feel right.
Same thing with work. Eventually I'll tell people, right? Or they'll notice that I suddenly have a basketball under my shirt? Except with all the harassment training lately, they probably won't say something.. but they'll ask someone who will ask someone and maybe someone else can confirm it for me? See if I had that ultrasound picture maybe I'd just hang it at my desk and wait for people to catch on.
It just seems like a lot of effort to tell people? Do I need to make it fun and interesting? A surprise? Does there need to be a clever pun or reveal? I keep meaning to get on that.. but then I'm tired and sick and I have a toddler to take care of.
Can't I just wait until the baby is here and send out a birth announcement? Or sometimes I forget I haven't told people and almost type it in a status update or refer causally to my children - plural. Who knows, maybe that will be how I tell people. I'm also debating just waiting until the next time I see you and letting the belly do the talking. That sounds fun, right??
So I apologize, but that's likely why you heard so late that baby #2 was on the way. I wanted to tell you, I really did. I was just too tired to have the whole conversation and answer questions and make my brain form thoughts.
Seriously. I'm at the level where I'm lying on the couch complaining how tired I am, but when Tom suggests I go to bed, I don't have the energy to drag myself upstairs. Also it hurts when I walk. Or sit. Or lie down. I'm a bundle of fun lately!
I probably should tell everyone, because when I do, they'll probably all have some collective "Ohhhhh that's why you've been so [tired/cranky/emotional/weird] lately!" It all makes sense now...
Tomorrow. I'll definitely tell someone tomorrow.