When my doula came for her postpartum visit, I talked to her about how I didn't think I'd ever do anything this summer but sit on the couch with the baby.  She told me to take two weeks to do absolutely nothing, and not feel guilty about it, and then to get up and start doing things.

Ever the overachiever, I took four.  To be fair, I did leave the house and go on adventures when Tom was home, I just didn't do it alone.  I guess it's easier to justify doing nothing when the day before we'd gone on a hike, or to a farmer's market, or shopping. 

Well I finally made myself do it. Everyone was telling me I needed to, that it would get easier with time, and build my confidence.  Figuring they were right, and it was time, on Sunday night I made a plan and told myself I didn't have a choice. 

Certain theaters around here play movies for parents to go and bring their babies.  They keep the volume low, the lights up, and have a changing table in the room. I figured it would be a good first outing.  The movie sucked, but that meant I didn't mind if I missed part of it.  Which of course I did.

Things started off okay, we left the house on time, got there without crying, and as the movie started I fed E.  A few moms commented on him and how much they loved babies at this age since they'd just sleep through the movie.  Nice thought, but E had different ideas.  Every time I thought he'd sleep, I'd look down and see this:

He was all about the noises and lights.  He might have enjoyed "Cars 3" more than I did.  An hour in, though, I realized that he'd wet through his diaper, outfit, and blanket.  Luckily I had a backup outfit with me (mom preparedness for the win!), and so we made a trip to the changing table for the first diaper change I've made out of the house! (not counting the hospital).

After that he got fussy from time to time, but mostly we were okay as long as I was holding him or bouncing him.  Our problems started as we were leaving.  I had a feeling he was getting fussy, but couldn't tell if he was hungry or just tired.  Since he usually goes longer between meals, I was hoping he was overtired from the movie and would settle.  I got him in his car seat, he quieted down, and I decided to risk the trip home. 

Of course as soon as I got on the highway he started crying.  And then what do you do?  I can't reach him from my seat, talking to him doesn't do anything, and I was 15 minutes from home.  I can't pull over, but I could get off at the next exit and stop somewhere.  Or I just get home as quickly as I can.  I'm not sure there's a right answer, and everything feels wrong when he's crying. It was exactly what I was worried would happen if we left the house, and nothing stresses me out more. But we survived, and an hour later we were home on the couch with E fast asleep.

I'm not sure I'd call it fun, but it did make the day go by quicker. So maybe we'll try in again next week?

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